


Coming Home (Part 4) A man of honor

by PhenomenalBrat



Series: COMING HOME [4]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Flashbacks, Irish, LGBT, Leo Luthor - Freeform, Leo/Lena, Lex Luthor mentioned - Freeform, Mild Suicide Attempt, Minor Alex Danvers/Kelly Olsen, Social Commentary, Trans Male Character, confrences, implication of past child molestation, lullaby, past Reigncorp hints
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 01:08:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28662966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhenomenalBrat/pseuds/PhenomenalBrat
Summary: Leo Luthor holds a conference to inspire and encourage donors to give money to a new project that provides medical and mental treatment and support for Trangender men and women in this AU 'Coming Home ' story. Also, we get a flashbacks to so complicated and vivid past memory of Leo's life before he came out.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Series: COMING HOME [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2090922
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	Coming Home (Part 4) A man of honor

**Author's Note:**

> Author's notes: If you've read any of the previous stories in the AU Segment with Leo Luthor then you will be able to follow the trajectory of this story. It takes place in that same AU. Technically this would take place right after 'Simply Leo' and explores how Leo feels about himself. 
> 
> Trigger warning: Implications of sexual abuse, coming out, crying, Alcoholism, and mild anxiety, flashbacks, mild suicide attempt by a Trans male character.

I stood back, trying to catch my breath and pull myself together. I stood behind the curtain as I waited for Kelly to finish her speech to introduce me. I was pretty twitchy and nervous. It was odd because it wasn't even as if this was the first time I had done this. It was just the first time I Leo had openly spoken up though, I guess. 

"...and it gives me extreme pleasure to introduce, my friend, a man of honor and respect and a humble ally to women and LGBT rights, as well as Trans-gender advocacy, Leo Luthor!" Kelly complimented me easily as she introduced me to the waiting crowd of potential donors for the hospitals' new gender affirmation wing.

I walked out on stage, joining Kelly. The red dress she wore was warm and lovely amidst the sea of black and white from the audience.

"You got this." Kelly was quiet. She whispered the words to me as she squeezed my hand. Her smile was soft and encouraging as she walked off.

I searched for Kara in the crowd for a second before spotting her on the front row. Her reporters' pad was ready in her hand. We made eye contact for a moment sharing a privately public moment. My brain was inappropriately flooded momentarily with memory of her ride my strap just the other night while she ordered me to- now was not the time for that thought process though.

"Thank you all for coming." I greeted the crowd carefully. I was choosing my words as I spoke. "You're all here to decide or course, whether you wish to be part of funding and supporting a progressive new future. "

The crowd nodded and clapped as they stood or sat in their respective places.

"As a Trans Man, I can tell you that there's more to advocacy than just talk. You, as wealthy Cis-het people must serve this opportunity to help. It would be arrogant to expect the impoverished to do what we ourselves have the means to do ourselves."

One of the reporters, a rather girth woman with brown hair and dark Olive hued skin raised her paddle to ask a question. I turned my attention to her. "Miss-ter Luthor, as a multi billionaire, could you not finance this endeavor without outside resources?"

"I could...but community is an important part of advocacy. "

"You're offering both mental and physical health care at reduced rates. How does that work?"

"It works in the most moral and affordable way mathematically possible. " I kept my answer short and simple. My black slacks and red button up gave me steady confidence as I sought Kara's reassuring eyes.

"Can you tell us-" Another reporter, and inquisitive looking red head, was asking questions again.

"Ladies and gentlemen, " I interrupted the question, " I feel compelled to relate to you, my own experience. Without the access to transitioning of therapy, I found myself down a painful road and I was at least rich while this happened. Imagine if I had been less privileged than I was."

**. . . .**

**(8 years earlier)**

_The bath water was tinged red as the blood from my wrist seeped into the water. The gashes I had made were delibrate, deep and vertical this time. I had never sliced so deeply before. I felt no fear though as I allowed myself to sink further into the tub._

**_Trigger Warning: Self mutilation, suicide attempt, references to sexual abuse, and Alcohol coming up. Also, technically there's "dead naming" happening in this section but the people doing it simply don't know, cause it's in the past._ **

_I kept my eyes closed, not wanting to really look at what I had done to myself. My skin was bloodied and angry and yet numb. A lot of me was feeling particularly numb. I had lost my chance to fix the roller coaster of madness that Lex was riding again. The trip to search for the answer with Andrea had proved futile._

_My apartment here in Metropolis felt empty and lost. Maybe I was simply tired. I'm sure if this ended the way I planned, Lex in his arrogance would simply say that it was just done for attention. He always dismissed my despair in that manner. That was how he'd always silenced my panicking and tears as a child when his hand were on me so he could…"I'm teaching you how to act like a girl. Obey me...Take your underwear off. Good girl-"_

_I would sooner linger on any other memory than that one or the many other times it had happened. Perhaps he was right. We all just became stories and cautionary tales in the end didn't we. Every family had one screw up or shameful queer secret. That was me. Secret, shameful, and unseen, with the abuse, just becoming a painful memory that I locked in little boxes to protect myself. I supposed I had figured, that I could protect myself by letting them call me Lena and hurt me as if I was Lena. I had always been Leo though._

_I let myself slide down further under the water until I was submerged. My head was fully under the water and the three glasses of wine I had consumed along with a few sleeping pills earlier before I got in the tub, was leaving me docile enough that I was able to just calmly let the wash of the water take me lower._

**. . . .**

_"Lena!" Sam's voice yelled. I was groggy and the water was around my ears but her yell was simply so loud. I had probably only been fully submerged for a few minutes._

_"Omg! Get her out of there! Im-Call 911!" I could hear Andrea yelling instructions at Sam. I found myself being dragged up out of the tub in a rush before being carefully laid on the bathroom floor._

_I was still naked and bleeding and the numbing shock was waning slightly. I opened my eyes to see Sam leaning over me as I drifted out again for a second. I coughed hard, expelling a huge gush of water from my lungs. There was a clanging sound, like something hitting the floor and then Andrea was covering me with a towel. She tore off her black jacket using it to wrap around my wrist._

_The speaker phone was on. "911. What's your emergency?"_

_"Send an Ambulance!" Sam yelled before Andrea could get a single word out to the operator. "It's gonna be okay Le-"_

_"Hurry! My friend is bleeding. "_

_The dispatcher on the phone was still speaking but I blocked it out. I didn't want to be saved. Just leave me alone! Let me die! I didn't say that though. I couldn't really speak. While part of me did want to just go under, the other part of me felt warm, here and now, held and covered by Andrea and being protected by Sam. Perhaps for a second I forgot about my crushing failure._

_"Sam-"_

_" Don't try to talk too much." Andrea's voice was gentle as she advised me. I could only feel gratitude that she was even here after I dragged her around the world and nearly got her killed for nothing. That was yet another crushing failure of mine. I still couldn't have what I really wanted. I couldn't say what I needed to._

_"Don't let go, okay. Help is coming." Sam was so gentle as she rubbed my arm._

_"Here. Hold this tight." Andrea gave Sam some instructions. She stood up. I'm gonna go grab some blankets," she said. "We need to keep Lena warm."_

_Once Andrea had moved, Sam held my arm with Andrea's jacket wrapped around it. She leaned forward to kiss my forehead and for a second I was reminded that I had friends to live for and trust. The shame of my own secrets and lack of disclosure churned in my stomach though as Andrea returned with a blanket to lay over me. My eyes drifted closed as I slipped back down again, though I was sure I would wake to find myself in the hospital now._

**_. . . ._ **

**(Present)**

The crowd was quiet for a minute. I let them obsorb the impact of what I had been saying.

"Are you saying that Transgender people are suicidal?"

"Possibly." I was cautious and unsure. I wanted to be honest but...but there was a weight to what I had said. "This is part of why it's so important to finance this endeavor. I'm already so grateful to those who have quietly allied themselves with the cause. True, unboastful, quiet allies are rare. In the next few weeks we will be moving forward though. "

"Mr Luthor," one of the reporters in the audience, spoke up, "can you elaborate or your plans regarding the medicines and treatments you are going to be offering to the Trans community?"

"There's some hiring to do, but what we are likely to see is that LCorp is on the cusp of creating more medicines and replicating better versions of existing blockers or medicines. I'm trying not to let the cat out of the bag too much though. " I chuckled, trying to keep a confident air about myself and make the tenseness disapat. 

There was some applause and murmuring as well as some crying and talking as I bowed gracefully before exiting the stage after finishing.

Kelly was standing backstage and smiling approvingly. "Nicely done Leo."

"Thanks." I ran my hands through my much shorter locks of hair. I felt a wash of unspoken gratitude. Kelly's own raw vulnerability in sharing her coming out story with Kara, Alex and me, had finally propelled me forward and inspired me to move forward in my adult life and Let my inner Leo be totally free. I hadn't told her that of course, but the feeling was there.

A moment later, Kara entered the back stage area. She moved quickly across the floor and pulled me into a hug. "I love you." Her words were whispered into my ear quietly but fervently. After the experience of baring my soul for the crowd, the hug felt warm, safe and comforting. I fell in love with Kara all over again in that moment. 

"I love you too."

The ringing of Kelly's phone interrupted the moment. 

"I have to go." She attempted to be quiet to avoid further interrupting the moment between Kara and I. "Alex planned a dinner for us." Kelly was gracious as always as she explained before heading off.

**. . . .**

"Le-" Kara began speaking again after Kelly had headed out.

"It was a long time ago. I- I wasn't myself. " I wasn't one to let others pity me or worry about me for extended periods of time. It was not even that I neccesarily believed that Kara was pitying me either. Part of my hesitancy was simply my own shame for having done what I had done. It was a shame I had lived with for years, even after bouncing back. Bouncing back had been made difficult by my lack of pills to manage. Alcohol tended to make these prescriptions worthless or poison anyways, so it was all moot. Quelling my drinking to tackle the root of what felt like a lifetime of trauma, had been quite the hurdle.

"I know. I just-"

I had sort of told Kara about this before. My original admission had been rather lacking on the full scoop of where my mind had been. "Kara I-"

"I'm really proud of you. You-"

Kara's faith in me always sparked my own faith in myself. "I- there's so much more I wanna tell you about."

Kara cupped my face gently in her hands and leaned in to kiss me softly on the lips. "I want to hear all about it."

I looked behind me to make sure no one was looking for me or coming through the curtain. "Sounds perfect. Let's go home." 

As we headed towards the door, Kara looked back at me, smiling softly. "I love you, sunshine." I must of blushed because her eyes looked me over in that way she did at times that made me feel naked in a good way. It was interesting that at that moment I was hit with another much more joyful memory; it was a memory that ran parallel with an extremely painful one though.

**. . . .**

**(24 years ago)**

_The beautiful twinkling lightness of my mother's laughter echoed across the field. She chased me towards the plum tree near the edge of the property. "Fan le haghaidh momma, sweetie." Her voice had glided across the meadow._

_"De'an deifir momma!" I was a bundle of excited energy as I ran with my much pouch in my hands. Within moments though she caught up to me. She picked me up to twirl me around._

_"Rug me' ort, mo sholas beag gre'ine'." Her warm words brought a laugh to my chest. Momma walked us over to sit under the pear tree. There was a beautiful crystal lake not far from there. When the sun dipped low we would watch the light caress the water today was no different._

_Momma loved me and I was her little Leo; pure radiant sunshine and Just the two of us in our secret spot. She sat me on her lap as we watched the water. My lunch pouch was clutched in my arm as I drifted into a mini nap as my mother hummed a song. She told me before that she had learned it from her own mother. Her mother, my Grandmother that is, had called it 'Aisling's Lullaby."_

_Eventually I had felt her kiss the side of my head and whisper something to me._

**. . . .**

**(Present)**

"What song is that you're humming?" Kara's question broke the silence in the car. I hadn't even realized that I had started humming. Thinking about mom tended to grab all my focus. It had only been a few days later that she had walked into the water as I sat waiting underneath our tree. She had simply never come back. I was a child. There was simply nothing I could do.

I was momentarily reminded of Lex sick, perverse "joke" one day when he had caught me crying. He had told me, _" You probably secretly enjoyed watching her drown. She didn't have to live to be embarrassed by you."_ It was those kind of mentally harmful things that had eaten away at me as a child. Only Lex' twisted mind could have thought of those kinds of verbal assaults. That was yet another wound that Kara had helped me clean over time.

"Oh it's…"

"You hum it alot." She wasn't judging but rather this curious. I'm sure I'd sung or hummed it enough that Kara was familiar.

"Its- Aisling's lull- my mom's lullaby. I was just-"

"Just thinking about her?"

"Yeah."

"The song is beautiful," Kara complimented.

"Thank you." I was struck then by the absolute assurance in my heart that mom would have been in awe and adoration of Kara. "I love you."

The car was quiet for a few moments. "I just know she would be so proud of the handsome, trust worthy, sensitive man you became, you know."

"Kara-" I demured away from the compliment.

"You're a good man Le."

I supposed I was. Goodness was the building block to greatness. It was the helping hand of being honored. That's exactly what I wanted to be; Leo Luthor, a man of Honor. That couldn't be too hard.

FIN

Thank you for reading. Please leave Questions, comments, constructive criticism or kudos.

**Author's Note:**

> Author's notes: I'm hoping this lines up enough with some Canon events that people can understand and appreciate the perspective on this AU. Thank you for reading. 
> 
> Author's notes: Okay, I know I said this last time but this story should be the last of the Leo Luthor AU storylines. I hope that what's happening in these events works towards being some important awareness and rep to Trans masculine characters experience. As always, yes I did converse and communicate with other writers and trans people before finishing and posting this fanfic. Thank you.


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